Wordle

When I clicked on Janssen's blog today -- she had discovered this fantastic website Wordle. Much to my disappointment - I discovered that I could not play with this fun little doodle at work. Sooo after my date tonight - while watching the end of so you think you can dance - I decided I tooo haad to try it!!

I think I will title it: (drum roll pleeease)

"Just Friends"

2008 UPDATE III **EXTRA EXTRA!!**

UPDATE III:

After recent events (3 additions in one day!!) I had to update the world on my friends!!!

My wedding/engagement count for this year/summer:
4 roomies (Maps*, Lauren*, Steph, Cat)
1 pseudo little sister (Bri*)
7 Dancers engaged (Jared & Emily, Alecia, Peter, Alan & Jessica, Shadow)
2 cousin (Jen & Braden*)
20 friends engaged or will be (told on good authority...being themselves!) -Laurie, Mike, Jeremy, Justin, Joseph & Jill, Karalee, Audrey, Beau, Jeff (fhe bro), Kristy, Angela, Holly H., Katie, Trent, Brooke, Holly B. & John, Andrew, Bill L.
1 - guy named Jeff whose reception I went to with my friend ;)
14 friend already married - Heather, Sara, Lauren & Cody*, Sheldon & Shae, Christian & Amy, Natalie, Tracy, Nate & Kate, Holly M, Pat T.
TOTAL = 46 People I know and love & 1 person I did not know before

Italics = updated!
* = receptions I am hopefully attending

So I thought in honor of Weddings I would also note that of my college friends:
2 couple friend had a baby this year: Jeff & Amanda, (Mares & Ryan...love ya!)
2 couple friends are going to have babies: Cariann & Jeff, Jarom & Jessica

I am just so lucky to know so many people!!

p.s. I anticipate adding a few more to this list before the summer is over.... but I have learned nothing is official until the ring is on 'da finger! (personal experience) soo I'll hold off on my hopes for more of my friends! ;)
pps. If you read this -- and I have forgotten you -- please do not be offended - I am trying my best to keep up!!

update: thanks Cynthia for the update...I can't believe I almost forget Pat!!
7/10 update: sorry BILL!!! I almost forgot you!!!!

Remembering the 4th

I love the 4th of July!!!

Something has always happened on the 4th for me. During High School it was right after Cynthia's b-day -- soo independence day was filled with b -day celebrations - BBQ's - swimming - and fun-ness!

Going to college during the summer has its perks. I always loved the 4th of July because it was a day in the middle of the semester where there was no school - fireworks, hanging out with friends, no school, and each year was different in its own right.

Freshman Year
I was dating Ray at the time - and I remember the 4th because I remember taking a walk to Porter Park and sitting in the shade of the trees. Ray and I talked about life - reflecting on everything that was happening in our lives. He was going to start EFY - I was going to school for second block --- everything just seemed perfect for a moment. We even mulled around the idea of getting married! (wow -- looking back - I was no where near ready...) We ate lunch at BJ's Restaurant - and then went down to IF to watch the fireworks on the river. I remember getting eaten alive - but it was just nice to be.
(Sorry don't have anypictures of this event....)


Sophmore Year
I had just met Jarom - and we starting our friendship. He invited me to come to the Rexburg Parade with him and his family and then spend they day with them. (my roommates all went home b/c they were locals... soo I was by-my-self). It was seriously amazing. I remember just being welcomed in by his whole family - extended and all. They have the fabulous house on your way to Sugar City - with swings and volleyball - grass - wrap around porch. I remember chasing his younger siblings around - and just laughing like I had forgotten how to. As it slowly got dark - we lite fireworks and sparklers. It was fantastic. Jarom and I looked at picture books - and at the end of the night - I just wished I could stay forever. Surprisingly Jarom and I never dated - but I did spend New Years eve with his family also...


Junior Year
Cariann and I were roommates -joy!- and we had the coolest FHE brothers. We made plans to go with them to IF for day. I started the day being in the Rexburg Parade - on the BYU-I float!! sooo fun! :) Then we went down to IF and ate at TGIFriday's - I stubbed my toe on the door - we went down to the snake river- sat around playing cards- watching the people go by - taking pictures - and just having the best time. lol - I remember being so jealous of the 'old FHE sisters' b/c it seemed they knew so much more about our Bro's than we did. I remember how hard Cariann worked to get a picture of me and the one I had a crush on...lol :) good times!





(Cariann actually snagged one! lol yeah for Jeff!!)

Senior Year
I was working as a Program Assistant for BYU-I Youth Programs. AFY (adventure for Youth) was that week - my baby - so I was with a 100 Youth alllll week. It was so fun! On the 4th- we were taping the music videos they created - and then afterwards had to keep an eye on them all as they ran around until lights out. I remember a group of the guys + counselors were running at full-speed towards the hill in the Taylor Quad. They would run and then LEAP down the rolling hills --- seeing who could get the farthest. I still can't believe we didn't have to take anyone to the hospital for broken bones! :)

During this time I was also dating Rob. That weekend he came and friday night we went to the the drive-in movie theater- first time I saw Transformers (loooove that movie!!). Saturday morning - Lauren, Cody, Rob & I made breakfast and then went for an adventure. We drove up to Island Park and went 4-wheeling all the way into Yellowstone. It was windy - and really dusty!! I was petrified at first and so I held on to Rob for dear life (which I'm sure he did not mind one bit.) We would race Lauren and Cody - pass them - then they would pass us -- just laughing and having fun. The dust would just swirl around b/c it was so dry. The view was fantastic - yellowstone is so beautiful. It was one of the times I really felt something for Rob...and I just wanted to be with him -- freeze the moment and live in it. It was also one of the first times I realized what an awful significant other - and friend I was being - realized that I needed to figure things out --- interesting how conflicting life can be sometimes. But that day was perfect - I couldn't have asked for anything more -being with people I loved, having fun and enjoying America's ! (This was only my second time riding a 4-wheeler and the 1st time I have ever driven one!)








Post College

TBA

*2008 plans - Movie w/fam; Dianna's 4th Bash; Greenvalley Station Movie & Fireworks....

I love fireworks!!!

Thanks to all who keep my right to choose free!!!

Happy Independence Day to All!!!

Waiting....

The worst part about leaving to go somewhere - is after everything is packed, loaded in the car, ready to go - and you are sitting in the house waiting. Waiting for a simple package to come via FED-EX --- sooo we can LEAVE.

This said package has very important contents - contents that are worth waiting an EXTRA hour and half for. I have: gotten gas - gone to the store - packed everything - loaded the van - serviced one of my mom's machines - all in the name of waiting.

I do not know how much longer I can stand this. Patience is not a virtue that comes freely to me - I'm still working on obtaining that one. Although I am a little bit better at it now than I used to be. We are going to be late to the fantastic Hawaiian dinner my cousin's fiance's family are putting together ---

Mom is getting antzy - The poor Fed-Ex person is going to get it... if they ever show up.

Sorry Kevin - I think you might have to wait for your package.... two more weeks....

studying? who me?! uh huh - couldn't be!

You're waiting for someone to put you together
You're waiting for someone to push you away...
...there is always something more you wish he'd say.


So the problem with moving away from Rexburg is that you make new friends.

The problem with making new friends is that everyone has different types of schedules.

The problem with this is some are going to 'Professional School' (Med/Law...etc.) and have to take tests - which means - studying is very high on the time scale and playing very low for a few weeks/months.

Me on the other hand - I have four things my life is filled of -

1. Work - If I do the math the ratio = 9.5/24 = hours I spend at work 5 days a week... (including car time)
2. Church - fhe+church+activities+meetings+lesson prep = aprox. 12hrs a week (on teaching week)
3. Sleep - 6 hours a day... fabulous!
4. Playing - this is what I believe I spend the most time doing (outside of work). If I could get paid to do this -- I would be sooo rich! any chance I get - I will be playing... This is why it is such a tragedy that my friends have to be taking tests --- but good thing I have a few other friends. :) hee hee hee

quotes quotes quotes

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.

Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.

James A. Baldwin

I was looking for some more good quotes today - just because I have not found any new ones for a little while. So I thought I would share my favorites with you today. :) I found quote a few of these here and here - good quote websites!

I'd luv to kiss ya, but I just washed my hair.
Bette Davis

Never fight an inanimate object.
P. J. O'Rourke

When love is not madness, it is not love.

Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Love is being stupid together.

Paul Valery

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.

Steven Wright

Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.

Mel Brooks

It is not length of life, but depth of life.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Music is moonlight in the gloomy night of life.

Jean Paul

Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

How am I supposed to breath without air?

Every day brings a chance for you to draw in a breath, kick off your shoes, and dance.
Oprah Winfrey, O Magazine, February 2003

I like the hair washing on - just because we were talking about ways to be rejected the other day! My personal favorite: "I'm sorry - I have to rewind my DVD's" hee hee!

Update II

Guess what?!? It's that time again --- time for the wedding/engagement update! now I know all five of you were awaiting this blessed update - and I have not let you down!  Because they are coming in so fast - I am afraid my update might be outdated before I'm done writing this!  (seriously 3 engagements this week!)

update II:

My wedding/engagement count for this year/summer:
3 roomies (Maps*, Lauren*,  Steph)

1 pseudo little sister (Bri*) 

5  Dancers engaged  (Jared & Emily, Alecia, Peter, Alan & Jessica)

1 cousin (Jen*)
10 friends engaged or will be (told on good authority...being themselves!) - Tracy, Nate, Laurie, Mike, Jeremy, Justin, Joseph & Jill, Karalee, Audrey

1 - guy named Jeff whose reception I went to with my friend ;)
8 friend already married - Heather, Sara, Lauren & Cody*, Sheldon & Shae, Christian, Natalie,

TOTAL =  28 People I know and love & 1 person I did not know before

Italics = updated!

* = receptions I am hopefully attending

Isn't it fabulous that more and more friends of mine are taking the big step and committing to someone else - hopefully for eternity!! :D  I can honestly say that I am super excited for them all!!!  Congrats!!! 

"the cockroach"

*Started this entry a few days ago and was inspired by Becca to finish it... if you find this one interest - you should read hers!! her bugg is scary looking!*

I despise bugs. I dislike them so much that I can not even express it with words. Vegas is filled with cockroaches --- millions and millions of them - everywhere. I have a theory that we do not really sit on the grass here in Vegas b/c there are cockroaches everywhere. Honestly - who wants to deal with those creepy bugs crawling on them? NOT I!!!!!! I believe this is why the bug/pest control guys do so well here --- too many cockroaches and black widows - creepy bugs - who wants their child picking up one of those and eating them?? ah! makes me shiver just thinking about it...

Well --- my parents used to use one of those 'bug guys' - but now they have decided that it is much more effective and cheaper to just do it themselves when ever there seems to be a few more alive bugs coming into our home than usual. Well while my sister and Rob were here - apparently Kim found a LIVE SPIDER in my shower -- ahhhhhh! That was it - I decided I was going to clean my bathroom - and then mom was going to spray. Unfortunately I could not clean until my day off on Wed -- sooo I just prayed I would not be the lucky one to find the creepy crawlers.

On Tuesday even I came home from hanging out with some friends. I when I pulled up I noticed that the great room light was still one - meaning my dad was still up. I was super tired so I promptly went in the house - and started getting ready for bed. I went into the bathroom and took out my contacts - and then started to brush my teeth. I was probably in the bathroom for about two minutes or so. I was brushing my teeth very innocently when I glanced up and noticed A HUGE COCKROACH in the reflection of the mirror. I let out a little scream and looked closer. It was crawling up the wall between the medicine cabinet and the mirror. I squealed a little more and finished brushing my teeth in record time. I started getting the heebie-jeebies - and freaking out a little bit. Possibly even doing the "ewwwww--- bug dance".

I raced upstairs to find my dad quietly working on the computer. He looked at my panicked face and asked if that was me screaming - and what was wrong. --- okay ---- if you heard someone screaming downstairs about 11:15pm, don't you run to see if they are okay and what see what the commotion is about? -- I would be running - are you okay - what is going on? very concerned is how I imagine myself. perhaps I think too highly of myself - because my dad did not even move. and when I came up - he just looked at me and casually say - "was that you screaming down stairs??"

Of course it was me! who else would it be! THERE IS A COCKROACH IN MY BATHROOM! Sooo I panted to him -"Dad - come quick - there is a cockroach -in my bathroom.."
Dad's response: "So Kill it."
Me: It's crawling on the WALL" apparently he was missing the urgency and gravity of the situation. There was a cockroach - crawling - on my wall!!! And I needed him - to come KILL it - NOW -- before it crawled on my toothbrush.... (even the thought now gives me the goose bumps).
I pleaded with him - "PPPPPPPLEEEEEEEEASE COME KILL IT. I neeed you too!!!"
Finally he consents - and tells me to go find a shoe. Super daddy to the rescue! came to kill my cockroach. I squirmed and stood far far away from the bathroom. I am a little nervous as to where this creepy crawler came from - and I now have a new toothbrush from the thought of the creepy creature possibly touching mine!!! ekk!

The next morning my mom asked if I was screaming last night --- and then a little later my brother asked the same thing. This made me start to evaluate my family --- honestly - if I really was in trouble - would they just ignore it!? I do not scream every day at 11:30pm -- but it diminished my faith in my family... what am I going to do if I am really in trouble - maybe something a little bit more than the 'mirror cockroach'? will my family just brush it off as nothing? will I be left to fend for myself when the centipede or spider or robber is threatening my life?

Happily Ever After - Someday

I am what you would term a hopeless romantic. I have always dreamed of marrying my best friend - someone who I find myself unable to live without (or something ridiculous like that.). I have had visions of Prince Charming riding up and sweeping me off my feet - saving me from my unknown dragons and making the 'big gesture' since I was a little girl. I love girlie movies, love Disney, love love love them. I don't love crying - but I love the stories and watching the stories and seeing their happily ever afters come true. Who knows what actually happens afterwards - but really do we watch the movies to see the divorce three years later? NO! I watch them because they are happy - they make me feel happy - and life is good!

BUT there was a point recently where I thought my heart had gone a little hard - after some huge disappointments in my life -- I could not see happily ever after - I had no desire to see someone else be happy when my hopes had been chucked to the wind. Perhaps I didn't even want to see the glass half full.

Well - it seems that there are very few of us out there who have 'single-people blogs' as I lovingly term them. Apparently most of my friends who blog are married! (Well - most of my girlfriends from the past are married... go figure!) As a result - I have been reading many - many - many posts about fabulous husbands, children's achievements, family scares, dating/engagement/wedding day stories. I love reading these - I mean I have even gotten a little teary over a few. however - at first I did not want to read them. They were a constant reminder of my disappointment. I think however - perhaps my heart is feeling better.

Here are a few reason:
*Enchanted -
~who doesn't enjoy animated characters coming to life to find their true love's kiss?! with the fabulous dresses and fantastic singing - who wouldn't fall in love?! :)
*Weddings -
~I used to have the sarcastic attitude when it came to attending yet one more wedding - but with many of my close friends now joining another for eternity - I am pretty stoked to go to at least two more this summer! (weird...)
*27 Dresses
~If you have not seen this movie - DO IT! rent it! it is actually quite funny! as chick flicks go! :)
*My best friends
~I have recently been spending an absurd amount of time with a few of my guy friends from the ward - and they are restoring my hope in the previously seemingly useless-heartbreaking male species.
*Blogs
~Surprisingly reading about everyone else's amazing hubbies and families has softened my heart and helped me to realize that there are still a few 'good guys' out there - and they adore their wives and families! They work hard to provide for them - they are not selfish - they are trying - because of my amazing friends who support them till the end. This has helped me to see that life isn't all that bad.

So see --- Happily Ever After is possible -- and if you let yourself make believe - you might even decide you like to be you!! it just might a take a few months! :D

Coffe, Pizza & Eggs

"Anyone who imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around and shouting that he has been robbed.

The fact of the matter is that most putts don't drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to be just people, most successful marriages require a high degree of mutual toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise. Life is like an old time rail journey...delays, sidetracks, smoke, dust, cinders and jolts, interspersed only occasionally by beautiful vistas and thrilling bursts of speed.

The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride."
- Gordon B. Hinckley

I "borrowed" this quote from Brandi's blog. This is sums up my life right now. I am just enjoying the ride. So here are some highlights:

*Friday at work - I was helping a non-account holder cash a check. He asked if he could 'borrow' some of my hand sanitizer - I told him he could have it b/c I didn't really want it back! Then I helped him with his transaction - he asked questions about my social life (small talk) I finished his transaction, smiled, and sent him on his merry way to the cash pick-up. I then called over my next customer. While I was chatting for a moment and helping her, he came back and just stood at my station - asking if he could use my hand sanitizer. My customer and I (who are around the same age) kinda looked at each other with that "what the heck" look in our eyes - I shrugged and answered "sure".

Note: - Wamu's in Vegas are a little different - we each have our own "stand-alone" station. There is no teller line w/ the counter in between the teller and the customer. You may be thinking "WHAT? Isn't that dangerous??" - no! This is because I actually have no access to cash - No cash drawer to worry about balancing at night -- it is fabulous! I just do their transaction - give them their receipt with their cash pick-up code - they go to the dispenser - enter their code - and POOF!!! money! :D This is very nice - b/c if you want to rob my store -- DON'T -- you won't get much! :) now back to my story....

After the quick look at each other - I continue to processes her transaction. Inside I was kinda weary of this guy - because anyone who lingers makes me nervous! heck I work in a bank! :) So he stood there in front of my station while I finished her transaction just trying make small talk... I was almost done so I didn't ask him to move - and mentioned to him I would be right with him. Honestly - I thought I had screwed up his transaction. I handed my customer her receipt - told her to have an amazing day - and glanced back to this guy - staring at me - really creepy - well meaning - but kinda creepy. Welllll - he then proceeded to hand me back his receipt with his name - number and "Would you like to get a cup of coffee sometime?" Written on it. You can imagine my relief as my brain was going a million miles a minute when he hands me a slip with writing on it. I have heard numerous stories of tellers being robbed w/the 'note'.... so you can imagine my brief distress - almost panic-making moment AND THEN my relief when I could just say "No, Thank you though!" I couldn't help but smile to myself for my good fortune - even though I was in no way remotely interested in the fellow!

*Sunday after Church - After church on Sunday I returned home famished and starving. I thought my stomach might eat itself - which translates to mean I was happy --- and a little irritable b/c my head and stomach hurt from lack of nutrients. As I walked around my house making my presence known - I quickly realized that it was a little tooo quiet. As I investigated a little more I came to realize my family was not where to be found. They had abandoned me on Fast Sunday -- how rude!!! - What was I going to eat - if not some fantastic 'fast Sunday approved' meal consisting of meat and potatoes? honestly!! I was soo excited - only to have my hopes dashed by silence...

So I called my mom - and she told me to make a tuna sandwich - GROSS -- not a fan of tuna. So I said fine - I'll make a grilled cheese and call it good. I was really feeling betrayed and lost though - because I am so used to fast Sunday dinner cooking in the oven or crock pot - and there was nothing! So I made myself a sandwich and put it on the stove/griddle thing - and my phone started ringing. to my amazement it was my friend calling to invite me to dinner!!! joy! problem solved! Life is amazing!! :D

*After FHE on Monday -
After watching my friends play Volleyball after FHE - I walked out to my car. As I got in - I noticed little white shells on my windshield.

"hummm" - I thought to myself - "that is interesting." So I turned on my car - and this slimy stuff illuminated my front windshield. I got out of my car - looked at the front of my car - and noticed it nicely dripped down the front of my car. "Self" - I thought - "This is weird -- is that --" as I touched the stinky substance. I smelled my finger - and realized that my deduction skills were correct! Someone had smashed eggs on my beautiful a little dusty Kandy Tater. As I walked around examining my car - I found it interesting.

Let me explain where I was parked. I came 45 min. late - (work was ridiculously crazy and mom made dinner soo I was a little late to FHE) - as a result there were very few open parking spots. So I parked in the middle of the back half -- in the middle of a bunch of cars. When I walked into the parking lot i was one of the last 20 or so to leave - and so it was my car and the blue car in front of me - and then relatively no cars around for about 3 stalls on either side. to get to my car from anywhere other than the church - you had to walk more than halfway across the parking lot. Needless to say i found it quite interesting that my car was seemingly the ONLY ONE in the parking lot with the sticky clear egg whites on the hood-windshield and moon roof.

As I was walking around - i noticed a glimmer off of the car in front of me... The poor girl had gotten even more egg whites on her windshield. luckily - that was the only place it was!

As I drove home and washed off mine and her cars - I just marveled at some peoples children. I just do not understand where kids get these ideas --- or why they do them! I feel bad that they had nothing better to do than trapes across the parking lot to smear eggs on two unsuspecting girls who are only doing what they know to be right. Now if I was in a prank war -- that would be a different story -- but I am not -- and neither was she -- so it doesn't make sense!

The bright side is: My car is clean and shiny now! :)

Let's get out of here --- feel the wind against our face!

I though about calling you when I got off the plane
Every time I see this city through the clouds I get that way
Call me crazy for missing you like this but I do
~"Then I Did" Rascal Flatts~

Provo-SLC was fabulous - exactly what I needed to rejuvenate my soul and direction. Thanks to all who contributed to my dress plight --- and I wore both the pinkish one -- and the polka dotted one. It was magical!! I went to one of my best friends wedding reception - and she was beautiful and fun as always! (pink dress) and then changed into the Polka dotted dress - and off Rob and I went to his formal dinner. It was perfect. He was inducted - called - however you want to put it - as an officer for his frat - and then we danced and danced and danced! Loved every second! The night was seemingly perfect...

I stayed with my sister Kim - and that was so fun! Her ward was fun - helping her with projects and papers - Late night talks - or afternoon chats -- Shopping - IHOP trips - just so fun! Kim and I always seem to have just the best of times when we are together. Hard to imagine it was so hard to get along when we were little. :) Guess perhaps I have grown-up a little in some ways... She is fabulous - and one of my very best friends! I am so grateful for sister's who can help put pieces back every time you see them! :D

Rob and I made dinner Monday evening -- while Kim worked -- and I realized how good of a friend he is to me --- something I almost don't deserve. It was fun to just hang out with him and be me -- and have that be enough.

I bought a few fabulous book at the BYU Bookstore --- the 2nd Leven Thumps book (super good thus far!!) and Spiritual Roots of Human Behavior by Covey --- both of which I am excited to sit down and read. I love having time to read books again -- Love it!

Tues. was nice -- besides the SNOW --- (not a fan... not a fan) -- I visited my Aunt Pat, saw Anne and Maps, and had dinner with Aunt Kathy & Joe & Andrew & Jenni & her fiance (&Rob)! It was fabulous! We played games - and had a grand old time! I love my family!!!

AND my car -- we can not forget the amazing little Red Kandy Tater --- she is fabulous!! she didn't die - I didn't die - and we were wind blown - tossed to and fro in the wind - and yet --- we just kept on singing and driving! I love my car!!! :D

Please Help!! :D

*disclaimer: this post is mostly for those who asked to see the outfits! :D

Please indulge me for a moment ---- I'm going to a formal-dinner-thing on Saturday up at the Uof U - and I've been having trouble picking an outfit. Which do you like??

My horoscope for the day -- Very interesting & fitting :D

"Don't shy away from making an impression on people -- it's never bad to speak out."

:D JOY!! permission to speak my mind! what more could I ask for?

UPDATE

update:
my wedding/engagement count for this year/summer:
2 roomies (maps & Lauren)
1 cousin (Jen)
10 friends engaged or will be (told on good authority..being themselves!) - (Jared, Tracy, Sheldon, Alecia-will be engaged, Nate, Christian, girl from my dance team, sarah, natalie, Laurie,)
1 - guy named Jeff whose reception I am going to with my friend ;)
1 friend already married - Heather

little red sports car

Last week I went to my mom's Enrichment -- and it was good times!! I esp loved talking to the 'old ladies' (hee hee) - who all know my mom and so wanted to know all about my new found life at home. Of course I had to indluge them with all the details of my life --- which def. didn't take very long! not to mention showing everyone my "baby pictures" (as one kindly put it) on my phone!

I am so excited about my new "baby" --- she -- b/c of course it is a girl - brings me a sense of freedom that cannot be replaced. In fact I have only had this sensation one other time in my life about two and half years ago (and while I was def. petrified as much as I was excited then also...). I esp love her red color. Now I am not usual a red - kind of person -- but from the moment I saw her - I just knew! it was love! :D I am super excited to go to Utah with her next weekend. Hopefully it is smooth sailing - and there won't be any hiccups - but I guess we will see! and I will try to take a few pictures so I can post them up here!! :D

sung to the happy congo line tune

I found swing DANCING
Iiiinn Las VeGAS!
I found swing DAN-CING
Iiin Las VeGas!!

My friend clued me in on these lessons that were happening at another single's ward building -- soo I decided to drive out tonight and see what I could find. Low - and behold - there was dancing - and learning of the dance -- and it was amazing! so exciting - I could hardly stand it. (and I think it showed...) I am just slightly excited......... okay -- I lied I am so excited that I can't even begin to tell you. This is the highlight of my week.

In other news:
I decided after many LAME events happening in my life -- that I am just going to stop trying... because it is easier. Maybe if I don't try to predict everything - I can't be disappointed when I'm right - or wrong. More so being right when my prediction is not the optimal outcome desired.

and now I'm going to go ---- to sleep -- and make sure my dog is not sick -- (she's kinda sulking, I think she misses everyone else who is California w/o me at the beach.....)-- but maybe not in that order...

I miss you...and love blue skies

I miss my roommates intensely. I miss random visits at 11pm. I miss dancing every Wed, Friday and any other time I want. I miss being so overwhelmingly busy that I thought my head would fall off. I miss the one-of-a-kind atmosphere. I miss being hit on by "normal" guys at work - my age. (by my age I mean -- not 40+ and super old - and married and weird and creepy...) I miss spontaneous dance parties - and just activities in general. I miss it being normal to plan at the last minute. I miss couch dancing. I miss being sure. I miss emotional roller coasting - with a purpose. I miss holding hands with two at once. I miss clean-flicks. I miss cliff-jumping, four-wheeling. I miss moseying. I miss walking to work. I actually miss snow (only for a second). I miss late night discussions on why life happens the way it does. I miss roommates who just play with your hair - just because - and somehow make everything better. I miss the intensity of barnyard. I miss knowing what comes next. I miss sleepovers. I miss pretending to cheat at barnyard - and taking everyone's cards. I miss country dancing - and swing dancing. I miss my life.

I love feeling the sunshine on my arms through the window. I love laughing. I love happy music. I love dancing in my living room. I love singing at the top of my lungs in the car. I love spring. I love late night talks. I love listening to customers. I love singing with my brush in the mirror. I love Sunday afternoon walks. I love the beeping sound that means I have a message. I love looking at Vegas from the peace of the Temple. I love hiking. I love sitting on the couch as the sun shines in reading a fantastic book. I love playing the piano and releasing. I love watching the Fountains - esp. when it is a song that I know - so I can sing and dance along. I love driving. I love playing games. I love sunflowers and daisies. I love the feeling of accomplishing something hard. I love putting together activities with people I love. I love cooking for others. I love eating ice cream & milk. I love reading a good book that you can just become a part of. I love going to dance performances, musical performances, theatrical events and coming away feeling like I could do it to. I love the turning of the leaves. I love warm rain. I love dancing in the rain. I love road trips. I love writing. I love learning new things. I love purchasing that pair of pants I forgot I had on. I love new socks. I love getting long letters - or short notes. I love giving them also. I love being around people I love. I love picnics. I love listening to pre-made play lists. I love asking questions. I love listening and comprehending. I love the feeling of church. I love feeling motivated and needed. I love my eyes. I love attending sporting events where I know someone playing. I love planning ahead. I love after the rain when the sun shines creating a rainbow. I love just siting and reading in the Gardens while the water and birds create noise to remind me of what is important. I love figuring out how to balance my life. I love mastering a new dance move. I love finding a new song and listening to it over and over again. I love being confident in my skin. I love sharing good things with others. I love a good game of Settlers - barnyard - or any other game. I love cuddling up and watching a good chick flick. I love finding out that there is an automatic save function. I love rising from the ashes. I love watching the sunrise or the sunset and seeing the array of colors spread across the horizon. I love being me - and having that be enough.

Poll

While listening to the radio one morning - they were talking about the most attractive feature to males. And the most attractive feature is their eyes - or so they claim. I find this interesting because I never really noticed or thought about it.

Since then, as I have been going about my day, I have taken note of the times people are complimented - or I am complimented. The majority of the compliments that are received have to do with the females eyes --- interesting!!

So then I began to think - why?? What is it about eyes that are so attractive? Is it the "window to the soul" theory? Or rather the addition of dark make-up to make them stand-out and sparkle? What makes one girl's eyes more attractive than anther's?

Anyone have any thoughts on the matter?? I would love to hear other's opinions...

almost tragic

Have you ever left your phone at home??


I did it today --- and I felt almost naked with out it.

Kinda silly how dependent we are on our electronic devices! Sometimes I can't remember what life was like before the cell phone, laptop computer, ipods, and other such device in my life. What life was like with out the nagging feeling that I had to answer every phone call or text message that flew my way. I wonder if I could ever learn to live without it? interesting thought...

I had another interesting thought as I was looking on my facebook - I realized how long ago last fall (and summer) seems to be - and yet how real, tangent, and close it still is in my emotions and feelings. How hard I work to move past it - and yet how quickly it can be conjured up, quickly rising right to the surface. I know it will never all go away - and it will forever haunt my dreams - but there are some days - I just feel like me again. I suppose though, until that happens frequently - I am just going to keep reading my books. ;)

"How does it work?"

*note: anything said here is subject to change at any moment. the views expressed here are not necessarily the views of the writer tomorrow.... probably should not even write them*


SO I deleted it -- I won't publish such thoughts on the Internet.....because it wouldn't be nice - or kind - but I am very disappointed --- I guess that is all that needs to be said.

I wonder why things happen. Where different events fit into life.

Event: An Older lady snatched her ID from me. (I was not doing anything wrong - she just thought it was a security issue to write down her Id info --- which is it actually a security issue if I don't.)
Reminder: I am going to work to not be an old Cranky women when I grow older. By realizing now people (meaning banks and/or bankers or other such service industry people) are not out to get you -- I think I can go far in life!!! I mean my life is hopefully going to be much much more pleasant than that poor lady!

Event: Dating -- in general
Realization: I am finding more and more the 'type' of person I would like to marry --- or maybe more so the 'type' of person I DON'T want to....

Event: Walking to - Watching - and Walking back from Nascar qualifying races.
Realization 1: While walking there I learned alot about attitude - and how it determines the experience.
Realization 2: While the cars race around and around and around the track, I realized how this can be us in life. We are racing against the invisible time line. Trying to fit in every possible activity or experience that we can. We are just racing around in circles on a path we think we should be taking - and just when we think we get to the top of the pack, we get just a little too close to the edge and *WHAM* *BAM* *WHOOSH* it is all over --- just like that- in a matter of seconds. You have wrecked your car and are stopped dead in your tracks. as other cars race past you --- you wonder what went wrong.

Event: Listening to "love song" (by Sara Bareilles) (lyrics found here)

Posted below are a few lines that stuck out to me the most:

"Head under water,

And they tell me to breathe easy for a while.

The breathing gets harder, even I know that."

"I'm gonna need a better reason to write you a love song today"
"I learned the hard way,
That they all say things you want to hear.
My heavy heart sinks deep down under you,
And your twisted words, your help just hurts.
You are not what I thought you were.
Hello to high and dry."
"I'm trying to let you hear me as I am"
"Babe, I’ll walk the seven seas when I believe that there's a reason to,
Write you a love song
Today"

Realization: Why would you want to give someone a 'love song' if their heart wasn't in it?? And I guess I have been this girl - as many people can relate with at some point or another. This song is just another reminder to me of what I really want - and how I won't give up "me" to do it.

Event: Teaching my Sunday School Lesson and all the amazing comments and insights.
Realization: The answers to life's hardest question - to finding your way through the darkness -- to dissolving the illusions - are right in front of you! All it takes is a 10 minutes a day - and He will provide the answers. I don't know why - but this is so important to me this week. He gives us everything - and then some -- but Satan just takes it with no reward all our work for naught....

Event: Reading Screwtape Letters by C.S. Lewis
Realization: This book took me an absurdly long amount of time to read - but it was worth the read. I realized how important it is to keep focus - and how many tricks, devices, and ways they try to fool you with. They are miserable - so why shouldn't we be? they will take virtues and counter-fit them - twisting them to work towards their advantage. And all the while doing this 'the Enemy" (aka God in the book.. since it is from a 'temptor's point of view') is still there fighting just as hard for the salvation of man. But he has the true ways --- not the counter-fit feelings and ideas. While it was not my favorite book to read - it was interesting and I would recommend it to anyone who is interested or thinking about reading it. It is worth your time.