What I really want...

My Conversation with a friend..... (hope they don't mind.. too late!)

ME:
Well despite the fact that I just told you I don't want to date... in reality I just want a functional real relationship for once.... (no offense to you or anything)

but I am sick of games, and wishy-washy crap - non-commitment and freaking-out ness. just a nice functional relationship that is working to learn and grow and better the both of us.

I want date one person and just have a good fun time. and not worry about whether or not we are in love - or if we are going to get married --- in fact I think we should not really talk about in relationship to us -- for like 3 months... atleast. maybe 6... freak...

I would like a guy who isn't afraid to be a guy - but be man enough to watch movies I LIKE - just because I want to watch them... and I will watch action movies and such no problem.

I would like a guy who isn't intimidated by the fact that I am a social person, and like to be around people, and have enough guys friends to cover a life time and then some.

I want someone who is adventurous - and okay that I am just a little less.... okay I am terrified of most things. and is okay if I just want to tag along to be there as moral support. I think it is fun to watch others jump off cliffs... even if I can't yet.

I want someone who will help me and support me in my events - because they know I will be there to help them clean-up their activities at 1am sometime later, and they just want to help.

I want someone to walk along side me. To text at any moment in the day - with my random thoughts. To laugh with over little things, like remote control singing. Who wants to randomly dance with me. Doesn't get offended when I just feel like crap. Who wants to cuddle with me... (whoot)

I want someone who loves the gospel - who puts the Lord first and me second. Who loves the temple, and follows the basic doctrines and principles of the gospel.

I want to be first choice.

I want someone who is honest. I am looking for conviction and someone who has self-control. Who can put aside what he wants for what is best.

I want someone who is not afraid to work. Who does not run at the first sign of problems, or trouble, or issues. Who is willing to get their hands dirty and not afraid to fight for what they believe in.


My Friend:
That is interesting.....

Me:
How so?

Friend:
Just to hear what you think. What you think love is, because that's what you just described.

Me:
but yeah - I guess it is what I think love is. I don't think love is easy. i think it is work, and commitment. I do not think I will ever find "love at first sight" ... I think it will be something that comes because I have grown with the person - experienced things.
i mean yes - I will be attracted - and want to talk to them and stuff... but really.... love takes time

Friend:
I agree.
I think there is also some amount of deciding to be in love too.
Of course there is that little something that makes your heart go pitter patter, but then you get to a point, and it's love it or leave it.

ME:
deciding to be in love?

Friend:
Yes.

ME:
pitter patter? yes - this is true - attraction needs to be there - or all else is futile
:) no attraction... no reason to be there... but attraction can grow in time... also. as you get to know a person
i think

Friend:
You can be attracted to a lot of people, but you don't fall in love with them.
That's where the decision comes in.

That's at least how it is for me.
Maybe other people aren't like me. But I just don't think love is something you fall into, like a hole.

Me:
lol like a hole... nice.

I realized tonight that there is a lot more to relationship and love than I realized. Only I think I knew it all the time. :)

I choreographed this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oELtc34xLgg

My awesome dance.... well I think it was awesome!!

I'll figure out how to embed it on here laters!

I choreographed this for my Regional YSA Conference, for the So you Think you Can Dance competition. I did not end up dancing because we lost a few boys... but they did awesome! whoot!

just a little list...

Sick of:
*eye infections
*sore throats
*guys who do not understand the break-up rules.
*guys who want to be my friend - or my big brother.
*18-year old girls (no offense I was one also)
*talking
*being strong
*crying
*not being instantly good at the guitar.
*the tingly feeling in my left middle finger.
*messy room
*missing you.
*pretending.
*unmotivation

Greatful for:
*amazing parents.
*the funny side of my daddy
*the gospel of Jesus Christ
*Hope
*Belief that things can change
*good books
*awesome friends -
*the ability to dance
*my vocal chords
*cumorah credit union
*little babies that you can not help but smile at.
*new opportunities
*laughter
*Kandy Tater (my car)
*good movies.
*knowing that I did not really do much wrong this time....