"Relationships are the single most important thing.
People are the single most important thing.
This is the key.
This is why the death of a relationship of any type can be so painful."
I have been trying to reason with myself on a few events that have transpired lately.
First: I have been shafted - by the same guy - for the third time - in less than a year. I found myself pondering how this could possibly happen again. What did I do to let it come to pass again. I learned and realized last night - that I did not do anything but like him. In my heart of hearts - I was holding out for someone I knew would let me down. Not only that - but I thought it might be different this time. To my surprise - and dismay - it was not. That was my mistake. How to I fix it? I do not. and that is a hard bite to swallow.
The interesting part is I am not angry. I am sad, frustrated, and hurt. More disappointed than anything else - and I have lost some of my trust in this person. But honestly it does not matter that much. It does not make me angry or want to retaliate - it just makes me smile a sad smile and move on.
It is amazing how when one door seems to be closing - a window is being opened. I can say that I have been as honest and up front with guys as I would like them to be with me. I am learning to live the standard I would like to be held up to. As a result I have seemed to find or notice more of the type of people I would like to be around. I have made a few new friends who are fantastic - they fit nicely into a place in my life I did not know I had vacant. And they help me smile.
I also had the opportunity to see some old friends this weekend. I was very anxious to see them again because of a crazy past. I was not sure what to think - we had been such good friends and it was just left to wither. But it was so nice to see them - and I realized how important these people are in shaping me to be who I am today. It was fun to catch up - to see their families - and hear their stories. I am grateful for such opportunities. They remind me of what is truly important in life.
So despite the fact that something painful occurred - there were a few more things that softened it and made the weekend worthwhile.
*Note: Wish I had some pictures. I forgot my camera... and I know the various photographers took pictures of me (I went to two wedding receptions) but I only have one of me and the cutest little red head I have met to date. It is on facebook if you would like to see it. :)
2 comments:
I hope you feel better soon. After a break up, one runs through so many emotions. It is okay to cry and pound the pillows if you need to. It is also okay to be mad. (I personally do not understand those who have to retaliate or hang on and on.)
Ah... I know who said friends are. The redhead and the facebook picture gave it away. :) I feel sneaky. ;-)
I love you, Amber. I miss you. I wish you would come to visit. I'm going to try to find someone to bring me home next weekend.
This third-time-sting guy... holy cow you can do better. I'm sorry. :( I need to hear about it. I like your smile and move on mentality. I am very much a realist, and I think it is the best thing to do in this instance.
I think you should move to Provo for the summer. :)
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