I should be sleeping....

Well - I should be sleeping right now - but instead I am reading my friends blogs - and their friends blogs - and I now have too many thoughts running through my head.

Since I last updated the world on my life - I have moved to Vegas. Which has been the best thing I could have done - and the hardest.

There are a few things that I do not like about my recent adventure - thus far- as a whole.
First - would be this seeming need I feel to prove myself. I dislike-strongly the 'introduction' - 'getting to know you' phase of any relationship. Now I know that I have a few different layers (maybe a little more to me than I may show on the surface) but why is it that people seem to be so surprised when they find out information about me? Yes - I am blonde - kinda ditzy - but I do have a brain - and yet another surprise - I like to USE it! Joy! oh wait -- I KNOW how to use it... anyways - I realize that this is an essential part of relationship building and such --- I just wish I knew how to by-pass it. (and it isn't always an awful thing - but really how many times will I have to tell someone where i graduated from - what degree i received - what I am doing now - and have them act shocked!?) --- on the other hand -- I love making new friends and getting to know people, you take the good with the bad.

Second - I am a little frustrated with the 'game' one must play. I do not mind playing - but I feel like I am becoming a little cynical to the whole situation. for example: I find it more interesting to watch other people play the game and make side commentary and predictions - and be right -- than to actually take part in the fight-for-eligible-bachelor's that seems to commence. I guess I have decided that Mr.Right will come - and pay me some attention eventually -- right? ;) As much as I might like to be in control - I can't stand when the guy can't take some initiative --

Third - now why is it that the guys initial go after the amazingly cute - drop dead - gorgeous girls ---- when in the end they don't like them... I mean I love the first few weeks of the semester - just watch some time --- **guys swarm after the cute new flavors- when in reality they just like the vanilla --- but in the mean time - vanilla can't figure out where everyone went - and wonders what was wrong with her - when in reality... there isn't. ** (perhaps that was just a continuation of the previous...)

Fourth- "she's the type of girl I could see myself married too.....but I don't' know if I like her enough to date" --- what does that mean exactly??? can someone explain that one. (now it hasn't been said to me directly - but I've heard it a few times....)

Fifth- (not something we can change... but oh well) I am having a hard time with people thinking I am young.... I know 22 is young --- and I look even younger --- but it's not like I am not doing something with my life ---I've had quite a few experiences - and I thought 19 was young.....

Now a few things I have enjoyed about my new adventure:
First - I enjoy being the 'new-old face' --- I like knowing people - and getting to know more people. as much as I dislike the phase of life I'm in -- I do thrive on it! I am enjoying becoming re-acquainted with my many long-lost friends and meeting new ones. I like watching the interaction and picking who I would like to be around.
Second - I love watching people squirm.... I think that is the cynical side of me --- but it makes me smile to know that people can't just be my friend --- even after two years -- maybe that's a bad thing.... lol
Third - I am loving dinner invitations. It's nice to get away from the parentals once and a while --- but mostly I just enjoy hanging out with different groups. every experience is new and different - and i am learning so much. Plus the cooking skills are fantastic!! I love getting to know the different sides of people - domestic, not, group social or not, healthily or not
Fourth - I love the customers at work -- they are CRAZY!!! someday soon I will create a posting for the many things I learn from them..... a little preview: I am the reason WAMU's stock prices are decreasing..... ;) oh yes -- and I LOVE my job!!! co-workers = fantastic
Fifth - I like doing different things - hanging out with new people - my room (which is unpacked -- finally!!) - going to soccer games to watch my sister play!! (she's awesome....) being around to meet the girls my brother is interested in - helping with Calculus - talking my mom's ear off --- driving with the sunroof open and blasting music w/dianna & britt --- meeting lots of different types of girls - looking at houses...lol well plans... - shopping - movies - driving (new car coming soon!!!!!) FHE, firesides, reading! finally I have time for it all!
Sixth - I love living at home --- it is nice not to wonder if there is anything in the cupboard to make - or who will take you to the store next -- or even if mom will be available. plus my own room -- I mean after being responsible for everything but my cell phone for the past five years --- it's nice to just sit back and worry about other things for a short time. now I won't be here forever - why not enjoy it while I can. although I do miss my own apt quite intensely.......

So in a nutshell -- I do enjoy being home -- don't know if this is where my roots would like to be planted - but I will just have to get used to introducing myself all the time -- and the shock factor that comes with it.... But I do miss Rexburg ---- wow -- I think I'm actually tired..... ;)