Group Vs Date

"Have no fear for givin' in

Have no fear for giving over.
You better know that in the end
It's better to say too much,
than never to say what you need to say again.

"Even if your hands are shaking,
And your faith is broken.

Even as the eyes are closin',

Do it with a heart wide open.

"Say what you need to say"

~Say what you need to say - John Mayer

I am the type of person who enjoys group activities. I love being social, hanging out with my friends. If I do not have anything to do - I will throw together an activity, invite my friends and have a smashing good time. I am not afraid to do so! My reasoning -- why should we all just sit at home being bored - when we could all gather together and have a smashing good time doing any random activity that my imagination (or other's) can think of!

Well this weekend - I went on a date. A real - live - breathing "planned ahead (meaning he called me...) - Paired off - Paid for" -- date. and I had an amazingly fabulous time! Yes - I was quite surprised by this fact - only because in previous first dates (of which I have some experience in...) I have had to pull the conversation along - and the date just drug outtt for-ev-er - because they seemed to have no personality. Purhaps I made them nervous - or they couldn't relate - or something - but the fact of the matter is there was a time where I just didn't enjoy them. So I rationalized doing 'group activities' more often. Then I could be with the people I liked -- but with no threat - no dragging - just people being themselves in a 'non-threatening situation'.

Well this one was quite to the contrary - reminding me why I enjoy dates.

For as much as I love hanging out (and I loooove it!) - I like pairing off just as much. There is only so much you can get to know about a person in a group. But one-on-one dates are much more conducive for getting to know a person - who they really are - their hopes, dreams, cares, dislikes - and such. You can see how you interact with each other - really tell if you are compatible or not. You can see if you can hold a conversation without the interaction and distraction of a million other people. You learn about their family- how they truly feel about subjects - if they are kind to others - if they open the door - how they react to the crazy waiter - to the cold food - to the sold-out movie - to the jerk who cut them off - and if they are even into a 'relationship' at all. You can break through the layers, walls, and find out who they really truly are.

Yes - this is what I learned this week.