Almost MAY!!!

My goodness how time flies when you are having fun!!

A little update:

*Church - somehow if you put that first - the rest actually all fits!

*Wedding plans - consume my life when I am not at work... only TWO MORE WEEKS!!! whoot whoot!

*Work - system conversion to a new system!!! JOY!!! - consumes most of my day.

*Extra time? -- WHAT IS THAT?!

*New side business -- Have you heard of AreoGarden?

Check it out HERE!!!

It is soo cool! You can grow a garden, in your kitchen, without water!! Let me know what you think!

TA DA!

around the corner

I should be sleeping...

But instead I am here blogging for the first time in 4 months (give or take a few).
So here is the little update on my life for those who follow... in no particular order

*Guy from awesome collage in previous post & I no longer (hence a few melancholy posts...)
*that guy went to serve our country - good luck!
*New incredible job opportunity
*New calling in church
*Two new pseudo nephews... SOO CUTE! I love them and I just met them.
Well One I've met - one I'm going to meet soon!
*One amazing new guy. And after the last one, I wasn't sure it could get better. :)
*An incredible holiday season filled with family, fun games, my dad coming home, and movies with the family!
*Baby Sister turned 18... GAH!!
*Stress, and lots of learning time.
*The world's best, and most ridiculous puppy!!! I love Trixie Sue!!!! :D
*I love love love my family.

Those are just a few of the fun things that are going on in the crazy life of Amber.

Eat, Pray, Love

Recently my life has taken a few turns that I was not exactly planning on. I went to see Eat, Pray, Love with two of my really good friends right before the domino effect started in my life. This is now one of my favorite movies. It is really good, it made me laugh, cry, sigh, smile, and reminded me that sometimes when a door closes, there is usually a window open to new possibilities.

I had two favorite parts in the movie, the first of which I have been dwelling on. There is a part where Liz's (Julia Roberts) friend Robert (I believe that is his name) gives her the following advice:

"If you miss them - miss them. You love them, so Love them.

Then send them love and light. and then drop it." (it might be messed up a little... but you get the gist.)

At the time I thought that was profound, but when would I need that? Well, of course I did. Last week I decided that instead of trying to harbor all the feelings for myself that I was feeling, it was time to try a little of his advice.

My mom also had some fabulous advice. She told me to "let my friends and family serve me. To go out, and do things, and let them help me heal."

It is amazing how I feel like putting that advice combined with sending light and love has helped. I still have a way to go, but it made a huge impact to recognize that those feelings are still there, but there are other things in my life that are more important. Since I put it into action, I have literally watched as a new path opened up with options and opportunities that I would have never anticipated before.

I am grateful for good movies, good advice, incredible friends, and family, and friends who will always be more like family than friends.

(and if you want to see that movie... I would go again!)

Onions

Have you ever forgotten to ask for No onions on your sandwich or burger?

Well - as you can probably guess - I forgot to ask for No onions today - so I removed them with my little fingers. and now - 3 1/2 hours later anytime I start to ponder and bring my fingers close to my face, I can smell the onion. It is amazing what a potent and lingering smell those little things have.

I washed my hands in attempt to rid my fingers of the smell... and no! it is still there.

I put on the hand sanitizer --- no! still there!

I put on my fabulously smelling lotion -- no! still there!

I am not sure what to do now.

wish

'Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars?
Because I could really use a wish right now.'

Addiction

I remember recently when I would look at my phone and get all giddy because I had a message. Sometimes I wish that I was not so used to getting messages, that I did not look at my phone out of habit.

Amazing how addicted or reliant we become on a piece of electronic equipment.

Do you have that problem?

Decisions

I was reading Karalee's Post about indecision -- and realized I think I have the same issue. Perhaps it is a universal issue? I find however that I feel the most apprehensive when it comes to the big choices.

I was not always like this. I could make decisions and run with them, accepting responsibility for whatever consequence may come my way. Perhaps age makes you more cautious? Perhaps the consequences from your previous choices? I am not sure.


Recently I have been trying to figure out what I want to do with my life. I have been living the good life at my parents, and my dad got a job at BYU-Idaho (whoot whoot whoot). Now I have a decision to make in front of me, and seems like nothing helped, and I could not decided what I would do. I thought I HAD to make a decision - and DO something. After much frustration and stressing I realized that the time was not right for me to be making a decision. I think I was so anxious to have my future planned, when there was no real decision to be made yet. Just potential options, and more patience to be developed.

Well the time came - and I started to recall my previous sweat and anxiety. I had wade the pros's and con's, looked at my finances, and stressed over it enough. Yes, I am still wondering if I made the right choice. But I feel confidence in remembering that once the pros's and con's list is made, and you've wade all your options, and the time is right you have to make a decision. You can not sit on it for too long and watch your options fall away. I did my due-diligence, I had said my prayers and now I am just to look forward to the future.

So future, bring what you might --- I am on for this ride! New job! Here I come! :)

Taunting Me...

Since I decided to start keeping up on other's blogs again I do not have that many posts to keep up on(let's not recall the 415 unread posts on my google reader at one point....). I love reading blogs and finding cool new 'homemade' projects I can do!

However

I have been avoiding THIS POST by Miss Janssen. If you recall in my previous posts I RAVE about her awesome book reviews. Many books I read come from her lists. She is THAT good. (okay, okay - we have the same taste in books. and I know her... I might be biased. I'm okay with that though.)

I WANT TO READ THIS POST!! It is taunting me everytime I open my reader I see it - and just want to know what she thought about it.

But I can't.

Because she is so good she will spoil this most anticipated book - THAT I OWN - That I can not read yet...

Why you ask?

Because I am reading This, This, This, and This. They are so good I can hardly put them down - I hope it is worth the wait!

PS...

if you have not - you should read The hunger game series... AND the Immortal - Nicholas Flammel Series..... *sigh* such good book candy!

Keeping Kolby

All Summer I have been hearing about Kolby. She is one of my little sister's friends and in May she was diagnosed with Advanced Stage (4) Anaplastic Large Cell Lymphoma Cancer. Really long name, right!? Well it is as rare and aggressive as it sounds. I have been reading her Blog - and noticed that they have an auction to help raise money towards her treatments.

What an incredible girl and at only 15!! You should check it out. If you live in Vegas, or even if you do not, there are some neat things on the Auction! :) I think I want this necklace!!! or This braclet/earring set!!

Keeping Kolby Blog
Keeping Kolby Auction

What you don't See

I found a link to THIS article in the Mormon Times entitled "What you don't see" by Tiffany Gee Lewis on my college friend Kendall's Blog. **You should read it!** I reflected on a brief conversation I had with one of my good friends last night. I was complimenting her on her children, and what good kids they really are. She has 3 under the age of 5 (I think...her oldest is not 5 yet... I hope not!) and the two oldest are so smart and well mannered. not to say the youngest is not either - he is just a little baby. She really has taught them well. She replied thanks - sometimes it is nice to hear.

I think sometimes it is Taboo to talk about the hard work we all put into our lives, only focusing on the shinning moments, only showing forth our best foot on the blog. I certainly am that way. Maybe today is a good day to reflect on the work and perspiration we each put into trying to make our lives (for those of us who are single), and our families lives run. Give yourself a pat on the back! You are doing a good job! Even if you do not see it everyday.


As a little side note:
I've decided it is good luck to my Visiting Teaching Companion -- because you will get engaged! So far - since I have been home - my success ratio is 2:0. That is 100%. hmmm - think this could work for me? :)

I keep my promises....

I recently discovered Picnik - thanks Molly - what a wonderful website! Here is just a little of what I have been up to the past 9 months... and NO! it is not a baby! Just a boy... and nope - we are not engaged. Dating - and that is happy. :)

Wanted 1 Lightening Catcher

I got this neat email today - and it had this picture at the end. I think it would be really neat if we were able to actually capture lightening and put it in a jar. Imagine what you could do. :) What a fun and adventurous career!

How times flies....

They say that time flies when you are having fun. Well aparently I have been having fun, since I haven't written in here for 3 months?!?!

So - Update on my life soon to come.

Maybe some pictures if I can find them. :)

In the mean time - I am still alive.

Have you heard this yet?

http://www.michaelbuble.com/haventmetyouyet/

oh no!? you should click that link then.... because it is amazing!!! Love him.


So this weekend I received this text
"So it seems like you have a lot of guys chasing you."

my response
"WHAT?!"

Now my brain has started working and thinking and wondering. I do not understand where this thought came from. I have not seen or talked to him in months, and after ONE day (one fantastic day- fun filled - mind you) he says that... makes me wonder what I said or what impression I gave him.

Do I get asked on dates? Yes (esp. now that my best friend is gone to utah... *sigh*)
Do I like going on dates? Yes (dating is fun.... always a new experience, although I won't lie.. .it is getting monotonous - but I am not going to complain).
Do I have anyone chasing me? No - not to my knowledge, at least none that are actually serious. I have more than enough guy FRIENDS to fill my life, but none that are chasing me. Most of the time I actually contact them to hang out or do things b/c honestly I am not a fan of hanging out by myself. (crazy... I know!) occasionally I get asked out... (let's not count the past two weeks...it is an outlier - 3 potential dates in one weekend... not normal.)

So to me I do not understand where he is coming from. He, must not not realize that I seriously have too many guys friends. in fact - outside of my married girl friends (which are many...many many) I have 4 or 5 single girls I make a conscience effort to hang out with outside my sisters. (there was one more - but she left on a mission 3 weeks ago...and one of my sister's is not even single, she's engaged!). With such few girls that I actually do things with, you can find me hanging out with a different guy most every time you see me. Perhaps that would give him the impression I am being chased. Too bad all of these guys like to tell me all about the girls they are asking out, getting my opinion on them, ask who I think they should go out with, complain about the different experiences they have. It is nice - I have lots of older brothers.

But Wait - He does not see me every day - in fact I have not seen him, (despite my attempts to contact him) for - almost 7 months I think. So I wonder, why did he say that statement. More importantly - why will he not respond to me now!

The Hunger Games

The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins

Amazing.

Incredible.

I have been searching for a book to get lost in, because honestly I just needed a good book. This is it. This is what I was looking for. I am not as eloquent as some on reviews - so if you pop over to Janssen's entry here you will find a fabulous intro - and more reasons why you should hop on down to the library and pick it up.

Honestly - it has the perfect blend of everything. Not a "girl" or "guy" book. One that can cross the genders and speak to everyone. It is beautifully written, and the plot never seems to stop. It is a continuous stream of story, that envelopes you into their world. I would put this on my high list, and am seriously considering using my boarders gift card to go purchase it for my collection.

Janssen - I blame you for not telling me it was a sequel. Well - it was my own fault, I must of skipped over that part in your entry. ;)

So I am warning everyone, apparently it is going to be a trilogy. Now I am going to die waiting to read the rest.

Go now! :)

Also --- If you check this out -- advanced signed copy giveaway of the next book... WHAT!?!?! maybe maybe maybe I could - so then I do not have to wait in line to get it!!! word!

What I really want...

My Conversation with a friend..... (hope they don't mind.. too late!)

ME:
Well despite the fact that I just told you I don't want to date... in reality I just want a functional real relationship for once.... (no offense to you or anything)

but I am sick of games, and wishy-washy crap - non-commitment and freaking-out ness. just a nice functional relationship that is working to learn and grow and better the both of us.

I want date one person and just have a good fun time. and not worry about whether or not we are in love - or if we are going to get married --- in fact I think we should not really talk about in relationship to us -- for like 3 months... atleast. maybe 6... freak...

I would like a guy who isn't afraid to be a guy - but be man enough to watch movies I LIKE - just because I want to watch them... and I will watch action movies and such no problem.

I would like a guy who isn't intimidated by the fact that I am a social person, and like to be around people, and have enough guys friends to cover a life time and then some.

I want someone who is adventurous - and okay that I am just a little less.... okay I am terrified of most things. and is okay if I just want to tag along to be there as moral support. I think it is fun to watch others jump off cliffs... even if I can't yet.

I want someone who will help me and support me in my events - because they know I will be there to help them clean-up their activities at 1am sometime later, and they just want to help.

I want someone to walk along side me. To text at any moment in the day - with my random thoughts. To laugh with over little things, like remote control singing. Who wants to randomly dance with me. Doesn't get offended when I just feel like crap. Who wants to cuddle with me... (whoot)

I want someone who loves the gospel - who puts the Lord first and me second. Who loves the temple, and follows the basic doctrines and principles of the gospel.

I want to be first choice.

I want someone who is honest. I am looking for conviction and someone who has self-control. Who can put aside what he wants for what is best.

I want someone who is not afraid to work. Who does not run at the first sign of problems, or trouble, or issues. Who is willing to get their hands dirty and not afraid to fight for what they believe in.


My Friend:
That is interesting.....

Me:
How so?

Friend:
Just to hear what you think. What you think love is, because that's what you just described.

Me:
but yeah - I guess it is what I think love is. I don't think love is easy. i think it is work, and commitment. I do not think I will ever find "love at first sight" ... I think it will be something that comes because I have grown with the person - experienced things.
i mean yes - I will be attracted - and want to talk to them and stuff... but really.... love takes time

Friend:
I agree.
I think there is also some amount of deciding to be in love too.
Of course there is that little something that makes your heart go pitter patter, but then you get to a point, and it's love it or leave it.

ME:
deciding to be in love?

Friend:
Yes.

ME:
pitter patter? yes - this is true - attraction needs to be there - or all else is futile
:) no attraction... no reason to be there... but attraction can grow in time... also. as you get to know a person
i think

Friend:
You can be attracted to a lot of people, but you don't fall in love with them.
That's where the decision comes in.

That's at least how it is for me.
Maybe other people aren't like me. But I just don't think love is something you fall into, like a hole.

Me:
lol like a hole... nice.

I realized tonight that there is a lot more to relationship and love than I realized. Only I think I knew it all the time. :)

I choreographed this!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oELtc34xLgg

My awesome dance.... well I think it was awesome!!

I'll figure out how to embed it on here laters!

I choreographed this for my Regional YSA Conference, for the So you Think you Can Dance competition. I did not end up dancing because we lost a few boys... but they did awesome! whoot!

just a little list...

Sick of:
*eye infections
*sore throats
*guys who do not understand the break-up rules.
*guys who want to be my friend - or my big brother.
*18-year old girls (no offense I was one also)
*talking
*being strong
*crying
*not being instantly good at the guitar.
*the tingly feeling in my left middle finger.
*messy room
*missing you.
*pretending.
*unmotivation

Greatful for:
*amazing parents.
*the funny side of my daddy
*the gospel of Jesus Christ
*Hope
*Belief that things can change
*good books
*awesome friends -
*the ability to dance
*my vocal chords
*cumorah credit union
*little babies that you can not help but smile at.
*new opportunities
*laughter
*Kandy Tater (my car)
*good movies.
*knowing that I did not really do much wrong this time....

hump day

"Love is not blind-

it sees more, not less.

But because it sees more,

it is willing to see less."

- Julius Gordon

(borrowed from my friend mike's status...)

Today felt like the longest day ever.

Have you ever had those days? where everything seems to not go well? That was my day.

It probably started last night as I agonized over how to put my thoughts into an email. I finally finish it - waited to send it so the recipient would not accidentally stumble over it before getting off work. I pushed the send button and went to take out my contacts. As I pried - literally pried - my contacts off my eyeball - I had the fleeting thought, "this is not a good sign." My eye INSTANTLY turned bright pink...

For the past two months I thought I just had allergy problems, because the pollen this season has been off the charts. and perhaps that snowballed it - but spring allergies are basically no more in sunny - hott - Vegas. So last night - I was sure this could not be the case. I went to crawl in bed and read hoping my eyes would stop hurting so. They did not. In fact - I could HARDLY open them. As I received my few last texts from him - probably for the next few days - I just wanted to cry b/c the light from the phone was killing me. wait - I did cry - involuntarily.

So that is how I started my day - before I had even woken up my eyes hurt. and they hurt all day. Watering at will. which leads everyone to ask if I am okay - ha!

Then I had to type in 150+ checks - which I accidentally kept hitting the 'auto-fill' button. One would think this would make it easier - NO! you have to put them in order, and that just messes the system all up. some easy 10 min. task took me an hour - with someone else coming over and doing it b/c I was seriously on the verge of tears.

then I got 100 more checks from one person. Yeah I was ready to cry at that business. but no biggie - I conquered that one!

and then the day just drug on. on and on and on.

BUT tomorrow will be better -- because the

"sun will come up - tomorrow.

bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow -

there'll be sun."